Bond's Office Hours [Monday]

[doubleohblonde]

Much as Bond might have liked to have gone drinking and wenching last night, he had not.

This had not been because of the copious amounts of lace cravats, stockings, and rather silly hats his wardrobe suddenly contained. They mightn't have been to his taste, but he'd worn stranger in his time.

It was because of the long, luxurious, locks he was currently unsuccessfully trying to hack off with a letter opener. A man had his dignity after all.

[ooc: Door is closed. Post is wide, wide open.]

Comments

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"..." Well Deadpool had just stopped by to check in on Bond, but...

"Why don't I carry a camera with me around here?"

[doubleohblonde]

Bond paused mid-hack. "Because the universe has a cruel sense of humour?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"It's kinda fetching." Just ignore the snickers. "I feel like you should be dashing about."

[doubleohblonde]

Bond was planning to. "Sadly, I'm afraid that I damaged my dashing muscle a while back."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was sad.

Someday people would have a telethon for those who lost the use of their dashing muscles.

"I could get you some scissors, you know..."

[doubleohblonde]

"You could?" Bond asked, something similar to hope in his voice. "I would be grateful if you did. Extremely grateful."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"I should have some in my office, unless I forgot to get a new pair after the alien invasion..."

A beat.

"Wait, was that innuendo?"

[doubleohblonde]

"I didn't intend it to be." For once. "But if it will get me the scissors, then yes, yes it was."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"But then it's just awkward as you're a friend and I'm not exactly sure where Arashi and I stand. But that's not to say you're not an attractive man..."

Deadpool titled his head and eyed him for a moment. Maybe remembering that swimsuit thing.

"...okay, not helping. I'll go get the scissors now," He said, nodding and slipping out the door.

[doubleohblonde]

"Thank you," Bond said, fiddling awkwardly with his cravat.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was good that Deadpool was out of the room because then he'd question what a cravat was and it would only go downhill from there.

But he did return with scissors after a moment or two.

"Aren't you a blond normally?" He asked, handing them over.

[doubleohblonde]

Bond nodded his thanks before starting to snip at his hair. "I am," he said. "Which just makes this whole business even odder."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Not to mention it just completely messed up the username.

But Deadpool wasn't going to comment on that at this juncture. It would only cause more confusion and he really wished his was as fun as that one.

"Huh. Maybe you fell asleep in some Rogaine? Some piratey Rogaine?"

[doubleohblonde]

"I didn't think Rogaine worked so fast," Bond replied, making very slow headway against the mass of curls. "Or at all, come to mention it."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but it's Fandom. Logic is a mythical creature here. Much like heterosexuality."

[doubleohblonde]

Bond looked down at his be-stockinged legs. "In that case, you think my wardrobe might be trying to send a message?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool gave his stockings a thoughtful look. "I always thought it was the glitter..."

[doubleohblonde]

"They might be working together," Bond suggested.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Glittery stockings of gay?" It had a nice ring to it. "Sounds like something Dr. Strange would say in a fight."

[doubleohblonde]

"I don't suppose it might be a bad idea to ask if the name is connected to the habit of talking like that?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it's his actual name." A beat. "And he is a doctor."

[doubleohblonde]

"Really?" Bond asked. "I was under the impression that degrees weren't usually necessary for the title in that line of work."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"But he was an actual mediciney doctor and not one of the fakes with extra schooling."

[doubleohblonde]

"And his patients never felt uncomfortable with someone who'd burst out with lines like that?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"He's also magical," Deadpool added. If that made any difference.

[doubleohblonde]

Not really, no. "Oh, of course, because that makes perfect sense."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Well, when you're from a place where dying is a minor inconvenience, you just kinda go with the flow on magical doctors who save the world from threats beyond our mortal comprehension."

[doubleohblonde]

"I can see why you might," Bond said, rubbing his temple. "It seems the simpler option."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool just nodded slowly. "You get used to it."

[doubleohblonde]

"Much like travelling islands and wardrobes with a gay agenda, I suppose."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"And the different universes, don't forget that," Deadpool added cheerfully.

[doubleohblonde]

"How could I?" Bond asked with a smile. "There's something of a lack of magical doctors were I'm from."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"And superheros probably." A beat. "And crazy villains." Another beat. "And 'secret' government agencies."

He even did the finger quotes there.

[doubleohblonde]

"Are we talking MI6 levels of 'secret' or crazy conspiracy levels of 'secret'?" Bond asked, also doing the finger quotes.

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"The latter," Deadpool replied. "Because MI6 it's totally expected of them to have spies and be all SHIELD-like. The other ones are more experiment on the human genome to create horrors that are unleashed upon the world kinda thing."

[doubleohblonde]

"That doesn't sound particularly...good." Bond grimaced. "They actually get funding for that?"

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Think of it as an arms race with super powers."

[doubleohblonde]

Bond's grimace got a lot more grimmer. "I see."

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"...you get used to it," Deadpool added with a shrug. Even though you didn't, really.

[doubleohblonde]

Bond was suddenly much gladder he came from a relatively mundane world. "I can't imagine how."