doubleohblonde | Office Hours [All Day, Monday]

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Office Hours [All Day, Monday]

Looking like he'd had a completely and utterly eventless weekend, Bond was back in his office, looking over his notes and hoping Booth managed to keep himself out of trouble and not upset his TA again this week.

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"Just be careful to avoid prohibition," Bond warned, shaking his head. "That poor pirate."

"Oh, like that would stop me from getting drunk!" It would be more the amount of alcohol that would prevent that, really.

"That's the kind of attitude," Bond said. "The liver is evil and must be punished accordingly."

"My liver never did anything good for anyone!"

"Exactly, what kind of world do we live in where livers can get away with all sorts of terrible deeds?"

"Communist Russia?" Deadpool suggested, a bit too cheerfully.

"Where livers punish you."

Deadpool couldn't help the snickering over that. "Darn tootin', Jimmy!"

"I missed most of the Cold War," Bond said conversationally. "But certain of my superiors miss it in an entirely different way."

"Do they miss the lack of questioning? I miss that." A beat. "Though, really, we have more Nazis that Communists back home."

"I think she mostly misses the fact she can't justify sending troublesome agents to listening posts in Siberia as quite as easily any more."

Not that he was one of said agents, nope.

Ohhh. "Can't they get sent to the Middle East then?"

"Sometimes."

Or Virginia.

"At least there's decent beer here," Deadpool replied. "Though I should probably bring you some more of that..."

Bond smiled. "We'll make a date of it."

"As long as you buy dinner if it's a date." A beat. "And don't tell my husband that I'm dating."

Another beat.

"Can we just call it a man-date? Then it's less... Gonna-get-me-stabbed."

Yet another beat. "I'm putting too much thought into this, aren't I?"

"Maybe a little," Bond said. "But, yes, a man-date does have less dangerous connotations."

"And, while you are ruggedly handsome, you're just not my type," Deadpool added.

"You wound me to the bone," Bond replied lightly. "To the bone."

Deadpool patted him soothingly on the arm. "It'll be okay. We'll find you someone to help ease this pain. I know, I'm irresistible, but..." He sniffled. "Married."

A beat.

"And you're just not blond enough for me."

Well, usually spouses just added to the challenge and helped prevent that troublesome emotional intimacy, but in any case "So long as there's someone to ease the pain."

Bond made as if to wipe a tear from his eye, "But I'm a natural blond."

"Plenty of booze too!"

Oh, like Deadpool did emotional intimacy without a lot of work being put into it. "It could be lighter, really."

"Alcohol and meaningless sex, truly the answer to all of life's problems." Oh, how he wished he was being more facetious than he was.

"You don't think it'd look odd?"

"And strippers!" A beat. "Maybe a little. Maybe if you got highlights?"

"But will the strippers be amenable to the meaningless sex?"

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